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Dear Sparkly Sober Boots,
You make me smile. You replace my not-so-sober boots, which have been unceremoniously deep sixed. I promise you will never be an accessory to my late night drunk driving escapades. I promise you will be never be party to drunken stumbling around the yard or the neighborhood. Drunken, irrational tears will not dampen your exterior, nor will dribbles of wine, beer, bourbon, tequila or vodka. You will never have to tread across a filthy bar floor and I will never need to wipe you clean of drunken vomit. Instead, you will be worn, admired and cherished by this sober girl so in love with life that she felt the need to buy sequined boots to express her joy.