106 Days

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Well, 100Image days (and my 38th birthday) came and went (see my pretty 100 day ring?) What have I learned in 106 days?

  • I am an alcoholic – no doubt about it. My denial was a sovereign nation unto itself. There is no romanticizing: maybe I wasn’t that bad, perhaps I could moderate, one drink won’t kill me- BULLSHIT! I know, in my heart of hearts, in my soul of souls that I. AM. A. FUCKING. ALCOHOLIC. Yep.
  • Further, I have been an alcoholic or addict most of my adult life (bummer…).
  • Getting sober is fucking hard. Seriously, it is tied with giving birth naturally and then having my baby whisked away to ICU. This shit is not for wusses, yo. 
  • AA isn’t my bag- I tried it and, for the moment, it is not for me. 
  • However, I do NEED a sober community. I have found that here and in an AMAZING Facebook group. 
  • I am a better mama sober but I am NOT perfect. I had hoped secretly that sobriety was the path to striking that serene balance between focused career woman and crafty, caring, awesome, endlessly patient mom. Um, yeah, noooo, its not.
  • I am better at my job but again, not perfect (see above). I still put things off and get freaked out and overwhelmed.
  • There is something to the 30/60/90 day thing. I felt a shift at each increment. The shift at 90 days was really significant. If you are white knuckling through, hang in there until 90 days. It gets SOOOOO MUCH BETTER. It isn’t easy but it is easier and I am no longer constantly OBSESSED with not drinking. 
  • I take better care of physical myself sober. My skin looks better than it has in years. 
  • I take better care of emotional and spiritual self, too. I can express my likes and dislikes much more succinctly and I feel more balanced (most of the time).
  • Sobriety is a path and I have just started my journey. Getting to 100 days proved to me that I am capable than more than I ever imagined or hoped. This is a beginning. I am excited about my life for the first time in a longtime. 

I am so grateful for all of my cyber pals who have read commented and suffered through the last 106 days with me. I am blessed beyond the telling. THANK YOU! I promise I will try to post more. My job has been kicking my butt lately.

Namaste.

Maya 

 

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17 thoughts on “106 Days

    Running From the Booze said:
    October 6, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!! Happy 100+6 and Happy Birthday, too. I relate to so much of what you’ve listed here. 🙂

    soberjessie said:
    October 6, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    Congrats to you! I can relate to so much of what you said – esp the part about parenting. I’ve been beating myself up lately about my lack of patience. I was hoping to have more of that in sobriety. Nope, not yet! Hope you had a great birthday too!

    jenisthesoberist said:
    October 6, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    Congratulations on 100 days. Thanks for sharing what you learned- it’s pretty interesting to read about! I am glad that it gets easier at 90 days. I am at 50 or 51 and beginning to feel a shift, but it ain’t easy yet, that’s for sure. I love your ring, btw. Best, Jen

    SeoulAdventurer said:
    October 6, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Yay Maya, inspiration to keep going. May I ask what facebook group? I still would like some more support online since I don’t go to meetings.

    carrythemessage said:
    October 7, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Congrats on your sobriety time and the benefits that you are reaping from it! Amazing how things change when we put down the bottle and invest in life rather than living a life of self-seeking, eh?

    Hugs,
    Paul

    jamilynaz said:
    October 7, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Congrats on your 106 days! Way to go!
    ~Jami

    Lisa Neumann said:
    October 7, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Wonderful, wonderful awareness. Brings to mind the lessons I am learning too. Congrats on your 100+ too. It’s a big deal. xox Lisa

    Lilly said:
    October 7, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    WOW WOW WOW

    HAPPY 100 DAYS and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yes, you’re right, it’s a journey, and 100 days is, in many ways, but the first step. But it’s such a huge step and a hard one to leap so you are doing tremendously well. It is fucking hard too yes but I think we’re learning as we go that it’s all fucking worth it. 😉

    Great to hear an update from you and so glad you’re doing so well. Acceptance is perhaps the biggest hurdle.

    So.. fuck yeah!

    Lilly xo

      Maya June responded:
      October 8, 2013 at 7:08 pm

      Love my Lilly! 😉

    Maggie Shores said:
    October 11, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Congrats! Woot woot! Truly amazing! I love the list, I can relate to so much. You have head an amazing journey no doubt! Keep trudging forward and sober! Hugs!

    anniethinksabout said:
    October 17, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    Maya,
    Congratulations on 106 days!! I would love to be part of your cyber sobriety! I would also love the Facebook page you noted in your post, if it is at all possible. I am not an AA meeting goer either. Tried it many times, and just can’t handle it after about 6 months.
    Thanks for a great post.
    Ann

    pp said:
    October 19, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    Hi! Congrats on your 106! I reached a remarkable 25 days and then slipped up. Now I have to figure out why. Hearing about the 30/60/90 day marks is interesting. I made it almost to 30. I know that sobriety is the only way. I can’t do moderation.

    Anyway, just doing some soul-searching this morn and found your blog.

    Lilly said:
    November 2, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    Hey you!

    Where have you been? Are you ok? You haven’t posted in about a month so I’m wondering if all is well ? (I haven’t been on BFB to see if you’re posting there but may have to have a look.)

    Hope you are ok?

    Lilly x

    AsJimSeesIt said:
    December 1, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    🙂 Hope all is well.

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