Realizations at 36 days

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1. My old drinking stories aren’t really funny anymore. They sound more alarming and sad…

2. If I am really honest with myself, I have had a fucked up relationship with alcohol and other mind altering substances for a very long time.

3. I don’t give a rat’s ass if people ‘find out’ that I am in recovery. Almost… Sort of… Most of the time…

4. I *might* not be as in control of things as I once thought (Dammit!).

5. There is no  longer even a glimmer of a doubt regarding the question of am I or aren’t I. I am an alcoholic and while it sucks, it is not the end of the world.

6. No, I cannot just drink moderately. Ever. So shut the hell up, Wolfie.

7. I can’t do this alone.

8. I can’t control anyone else’s recovery.

9. Recovery is about way more than just quitting drinking.

10. This is going to be hard.

11. This is going to be worth it.

12. I am worth it.

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8 thoughts on “Realizations at 36 days

    Rachel said:
    July 30, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    XO

    Carrie said:
    July 31, 2013 at 2:14 am

    Love your list, can relate to every word! Brilliant!
    Keep on keeping on!
    X

    Lilly said:
    July 31, 2013 at 5:24 am

    You are soooo worth it. And it is hard. But also often awesome. And the further along I get the more I realise the benefits outweigh the hard/crappy parts. Which is not to say I’m safe from complacency but… it does keep getting easier.

    Lisa Neumann said:
    July 31, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Incredible. I finally caught up with your posts. I just wanted to extend congrats for getting through the tough moments (#10) more are coming AND you can do it. Keep reaching out (#7) I;m sober a little while now and still find myself saying the words, “I want help” … lots of love lisa

    bottlingout said:
    July 31, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Love this. Could’ve written it myself 🙂

    carrythemessage said:
    August 1, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    I have to read #4 to myself over and over some days…and those are the good days 😉

    Great stuff, MJ 🙂

    Paul

    themiracleisaroundthecorner said:
    August 4, 2013 at 8:44 am

    I love number 5. That is one I need to say, verbatim, every day for the rest of my life!

    laskogirl79 said:
    August 9, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    great post. one of the best.

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