Clueless waiters and other triggers

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Still not sleeping. I had a brief moment of hopeful sleepiness earlier but it didn’t take. Today, was a busy, strange day. We ventured out to a restaurant where we almost always had a drink or two (at lunch, mind you). I ordered a lovely mint lemonade with my sandwich. When we were almost finished with our meal the waiter came over to ask if we needed anything and commented (jokingly) about how shocking it was that we weren’t having Bloody Mary’s. We tried to laugh it off. The waiter then continued his liquor pitch, telling me that I could have ordered my lemonade with vodka. Grrrr… I told him it was fine (I swear, not in a bitchy tone). Dude, a little situational awareness, please. I resisted my first public temptation, so that is a positive. However, it is going to be awhile before I can go to my favorite Mexican restaurant, where hubby and I would regularly polish off a pitcher of margaritas with our meal…

I also managed to deal with one of the last aspects of my grandma’s house without any temptation. I was worried that it would make me want to drink because that was always my reward after dealing with anything related to the house. Surprisingly, it didn’t even occur to me until I looked directly at the liquor store in my local market. I have been diligently trying to avoid eye contact with that place for the last two weeks. Interestingly, I didn’t want to run in and start gorging myself on red wine and bourbon but gazing upon it for more than a few seconds made me feel like I was about to have a panic attack. 

I rewarded myself with a key lime tart. Probably not a good habit to start, but f-it… for now, anyway.

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8 thoughts on “Clueless waiters and other triggers

    Lilly said:
    July 10, 2013 at 2:57 am

    Oh yes, definitely F it for now. I think the Key Lime pie was well-deserved 🙂

    As for the comments of wait staff, sighs, this is just something we’re going to have to get used to – now that I’m so attuned to it I realise it just happens All The Time. Oh well.

    Maybe now is a good time to explore new venues you’ve always wanted to try, where they don’t know you as a drinker and where you don’t have booze associations either? Just a thought.

      Maya June responded:
      July 10, 2013 at 10:04 am

      Thanks for the comment. The tart was delicious! We live in a tiny town. Unfortunately, I associate booze with just about every restaurant in town that serves it. I guess it is a good thing I like to cook 🙂 I know it will get easier.

    carrythemessage said:
    July 10, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Good comments by Lilly there.

    I have been in the food and beverage business for almost 20 years. You don’t have to be me to know that servers make good money off of alcohol. I hear servers grumble daily when their tables are ordering just water or pop. But that’s what it is. So your server is joking, but subtly trying to upsell. So this is going to happen often. I have yet to feel like a server is pushing booze on me (“no thank you” works wonders, as does overturning the wine glass when you get there), but I am sure it happens. Again, “no thank you” does the trick.

    when we first get sover, we tend to notice that there is booze everywhere. Ads, TV, internet, radio, billboards, signs, etc. I noticed at least 🙂 So I used to get a little sensitive about these things. But it passed, and realized that not everyone else is an alcoholic or that no one is trying to get me back to the bottle…lol. (Not to say that you said that – I am musing aloud here)

    As for staying away from certain places…yes. Stay away for a while. There is no need to be hanging out at old haunts or fave bars. Restaurants too (like that Mexican place) can be associations with alcohol and might be a bit difficult to navigate. Try some new restaurants or have food take out. For me, even though I wasn’t a bar drinker in the last 4-5 years and bars don’t “trigger” me, I still don’t go because there is no need for me to be there…the times I have gone are with other people and to eat. Sure, I could go to a bar, have a coffee and read the paper without heart palpitations, but then, why don’t I go to a cafe, you see what I mean? 🙂

    Great stuff, MJ..

    enjoy the key lime pie!

    Blessings,
    Paul

      Maya June responded:
      July 10, 2013 at 10:25 am

      Thanks for your thoughtful insights. Years ago I worked in the food industry, but always on the coffee, deli end. I knew what he was doing and can completely understand it. We always tipped our servers extremely well when we were drinking. Next time, instead of laughing it off, I will try a firm, “no thank you.”

      I do notice alcohol everywhere. On Dexter this season, I noticed that a character who had a huge storyline around alcoholism and AA a few seasons back is freaking drinking casually again without so much as a comment. Is it crap writing or a portrayal of real life? As I ponder these things, I think, “WHO F-ING CARES! IT’S A TV SHOW.”

      Beyond the boob tube, I am trying really hard not to judge my friends or label them as alcoholics. A) I have ZERO room to judge anyone and B) it is none of my business. Still, it is tempting… A friend recently posted a picture of his beautiful new bride in La Paz on their honeymoon. He constantly posts from bars and about drinking. In his latest picture, both of them looked tanked and I smugly noticed that her nose is really swollen and red. Hmmm… she better watch that (thought the owner of a rather large nose prone to redness and swelling after drinking to herself). What the hell? The poor woman is on her honeymoon!

      It will get easier… and in the meantime there is pie. 🙂

        carrythemessage said:
        July 10, 2013 at 11:32 am

        There is always pie…mmmmmmm….

    El Guapo said:
    July 10, 2013 at 11:33 am

    Check you out with the strong resolve!
    Maybe tell the next overzealous waiter “Thank you. I don’t drink.”, though it sounds like you handled him just fine.

    I wouldn’t worry too much about the key lime pie.
    As long as it’s good…

    AuntieLex said:
    July 10, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    Still preparing myself for these moments.. I’m so quick to just order my white wine.. I’m in a bubble.. So proud of you and such stress and sticking with your plan…

    Maya June responded:
    July 11, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    Thanks, all for the comments and support. We are traveling for the next 10 days and I am looking forward to trying out, “no, thank you” and “Thank you. I don’t drink.” Looking forward to some anonymity.

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