I got an amazing (that is sarcasm) 4 hours of sleep last night. Forgive any gratuitous grammar errors. I am beginning to grow impatient with this whole lack of normal sleep patterns thing. I haven’t been this sleep deprived since I was working on my Master’s. Rather than write my papers over the weekend, I would drink heavily and wake up at 3 in the morning on Monday to write and submit my paper for the week by 6AM. Then I would help ready the kids for their day and go to work. Despite being a total moron, I managed excellent grades. Good times.
In my infinite insomnia, I read nearly an entire trashy romance novel last night. I grew anxious when I began a section where the heroine and her friends were out on the town doing shots of tequila. Thankfully, the whole scene ended in the main character getting drugged (the author doesn’t seem to have a very high opinion of alcohol). Tequila was my first elixir of choice (bourbon was a close second). I allowed myself the thought, “I will never again taste tequila.” I was a little sad but as I mentally traced my history with tequila, I realized tequila and drinking in general had not been fun in a long, long while. Maybe I re-realized it. Whatever. The point is I realized that I am fine never tasting tequila again. I have had my fill. Even Patron had lost its appeal.
I am working on day 13. Earlier in the spring I was sober for 12 days, although, it was just a break- I hadn’t committed to NEVER drinking again and I wasn’t ready to admit the extent of my addiction, although I did profess to one of my classes that I didn’t drink anymore. Anyhow, I am officially further in my sobriety than I have been since I was pregnant with my daughter. Even when I was pregnant, I knew I would drink again. I would take tiny drinks and bide my time until I could drink unfettered from guilt. But I suppose that is a post for another day. Day 13- it is a brave new world. 🙂